I love Baby Assassins so much and I need the world to know this. 

My favorite genres have always been very male dominated. I love love love lighthearted scifi and cheesy horror and super bloody fighting comedies which are Absolutely primarily male focused. And that bugs me a lot because I want to see more in this genre but with women PLEASEEEEEE.

When I discovered the Baby Assassins trilogy last year, I couldn’t believe it existed. Everything I’ve ever wanted? And there’s THREE OF THEM??? Bloody, unapologetic violent action comedies about two teenage assassins who are forced to live together after graduating high school like you are Kidding?!?!

While this review just focuses on the first movie, I Beg you to watch all three movies (and the tv show!!!). These movies are not just good because they’re the first movies to fit my exact genre tastes while focusing on women as opposed to literally every other piece of action comedy on my favorites list, but also.. these movies are REALLY well done.

Your minimal-to-no-spoiler overview is this: Mahiro and Chisato are teenage assassins. They’ve worked together for quite some time, but their agency needs them to move in together now that they’re out of school so they can learn how to be “normal” adults. They don’t ~love~ this development and butt heads pretty often, but when it comes to actually killing their targets, there’s No issue. That is all I will say regarding the first movie’s plot. PLEASE WATCH FMLLLLL IT’S SO GOOD

One of my favorite elements of the movie is how natural their dialogue and conversations feel. It’s a little glimpse into their lives. Sure, they’re assassins, but also they’re just girls!!! And it’s SO FUN. Chisato’s super hyper and neurotic personality clashes like crazy with Mahiro’s anti-social and detached personality while somehow matching perfectly at the same time. It’s a push and pull that draws you into their relationship and really makes you care about them. There’s a  scene I think about constantly where Mahiro and Chisato are about to eat dinner back home. Chisato has just gotten back from her cover job and she’s going back and forth from the kitchen to the couch making little sounds as she runs. Mahiro is confused in her own subdued way and asks what she’s doing and Chisato replies that she’s mimicking the sound of dogs’ nails on hardwood. Chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk. IT’S SO SILLYYYY. Small additions like that are what make the writing feel so natural and lived in and give more depth to the characters’ personalities.

Writing is a huge reason why this series works so well, but no matter how good your script is, you have to find the right actors for the role. And let me tell you. There is no one more suited for these roles than Saori Izawa and Akari Takaishi. We are witnessing levels of chemistry never before seen. GUYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH……. I’m gonna be sick. Their relationship development in the first movie alone is so perfect. They’re soulmates. What the hell!!!!!!! I especially want to focus on Saori Izawa as Mahiro. I was blown away by her performance particularly in the fight scenes and turns out.. she’s a professional stuntwoman who has worked on sets like John Wick!!! So she might be the coolest person alive.

There’s so many scenes in the movie that contrast the two characters and make me love them for their differences. Their agency needs them to get new cover jobs and one spot they try is a cafe where the waitresses dress up as cats to serve weird men. It shows so much about the two main characters and how they fit into the world of this film. Chisato is Almost a natural right off the bat, using her super high strung charisma to jump right in with the other waitresses while Mahiro can’t bring herself to even pretend to embody a catgirl. It serves as additional characterization at the same time as showing a visual social gap forming between the two girls. Chisato is good with people, she always has been, and all Mahiro wants to do is kill people and not pretend to do anything else. Which is awesome. Be true to yourself girl.

I also want to mention that their relationship with Tasaka, the crime scene clean-up guy, is so funny. This dude sucks in a really awesome way. I just love the humor and character style of these movies SO MUCH. 

All I need in life is a million more Baby Assassins movies with Saori and Akari. Honestly it doesn’t even need to be Baby Assassins, I just need them to never be separated. But if it’s through more Baby Assassins media I will NOT be complaining. If Baby Assassins has no fans I am DEAD. Watch out for a review of every piece of media in this universe. You don’t even have to ask me if I’m a superfan of this series because I genuinely think this is my favorite action trilogy ever. ALSO?!?! HELLO didn’t even mention that you can watch for FREE on Tubi like what the hell. I’m a huge jdrama/jmovie enjoyer and it’s pretty rare for the ones I love to actually be accessible to everyone. I love it. I love women beating people up and getting bloody. Please never stop.