Everyone hates me. (I think.) Okay, I’m definitely being dramatic, but I’m also not. I’ve applied to soooooo many big girl jobs in the past several months and none of them want me and I can’t figure out why… I don’t know what I’m doing wrong… Today alone, I applied to literally over twenty jobs. My brain is all cover letters and resumes and job qualifications. Blaagghhh. Here’s to hoping I get some good news SOON. 

Even job-search-induced anxiety aside, I’ve actually been feeling very anxious about everything too. So that’s awesome. Seasonal depression has hit me terribly this year — I’m normally pretty average about my winter blues, but for some reason, I haven’t fully felt like myself from December and onward. I’ve been isolating myself and it feels very weird because it’s just not like me to Not Talk. Over the past week, I’m just now starting to feel some kind of adjustment into normalcy. Very slight, but I feel it. Hopefully that means I’m back to normal soon.

Answer to your question time! There are so many songs I would want to live inside of, but I think based on current obsessions, I would want to live inside of Ankles by Lucy Dacus. I know that lyrically, the song is verrrryyyyy horny… and that’s not why I want to live in the universe of that song I swear — I SWEARRRRR… but it’s the first single off of Lucy’s new album Forever Is A Feeling — which, according to the style of the cover art and the venues she picked for tour (which I did not get tickets for and I am very sad about), it’s a very art museum gallery, renaissance woman vibe. I just feel like it’s such a movie song, where the two main love interests are starting to fall in love with each other, and we get to see them really begin to love each other via montage, with this song playing in the back. Running through museums and stuff like that. (I need to fall in love soon or I’m gonna go insane. Romance media is also ruining my life.)

Last week, I spent five days in a cabin in the woods with my family! It was really fun to get away and pretend I was a cool mysterious girl who lived amongst nature like that. I only wish I had brought my laptop so I could write out on the deck or something. It was very quiet and kind of exactly what I needed. We also drove out to see Yosemite every other day we were there, and it was so beautiful. IT WAS SNOWING!!! I need to get out into nature more often. I love feeling like a little speck in the world; like I’m a part of something much bigger than myself. It’s kind of strange and unsettling, but I really do love it.